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”“Who’s the friend?”“It’s a long story.”“We have the time. And you have a captive audience.”It was a long story, but I wasn’t going to tell it to her. “Old girlfriend.”“Well that sound’s like it could be comforting.”It wasn’t an old girlfriend. It was one of my friends from high school. Not even that good of a friend. Just someone I knew from back in the day. I knew his couch was free, I knew he’d be willing to let me stay as long as I wanted. Nothing too bad, nothing too good. Just another day. Normal. It would all seem normal.Just two dead guys, hanging out together.Other things that seemed normal in the past few weeks: Going to work drunk. Losing my job. Getting kicked out of my parent’s house. Going to a friend’s house and getting kicked out of there too. Sleeping by the river. Waking up cold and wet, shivering and covered with chigger bites. Bumming change for food. Stealing the money for bus fare from my Mom’s purse.I’m not sure why I told her I was visiting an old girlfriend.I. ‘Hey Myrtle are you ready for this?’ ‘Sure am.’ The being was on its way towards us. If anyone was not ready for the events to follow it was too late to say. This egg shaped man was in its traditional gardening garb. The big boots, the cold leather gloves and overalls. He held his weapon of choice and a basket to collect his victims in. He stopped at the edge of the garden to look at the harmless plants that he had fattened up for the impending slaughter. As he prepares himself for the long day of war he lays his weapon on the ground next to him. While the being was occupied with the view of us. Myrtle made her move. One of her long runners stretched out for the beings leg. She coiled her vine around it, like a snake killing its prey. The being was kept from feeling the restraints through his boots. Yes the plan is working! ‘Hey Bob, before you get dirty, could you help me in the house?’ As this being named Bob turned to answer this voice. Not able to use both of his legs, he trips.
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